Why You Know What to Do…  But Still Can’t Start

It’s time to get real. You know what needs to get done. It’s not at all a mystery, it’s completely on your list, you’ve thought about it many times (maybe too many times), it’s staring at you straight in the face and guess what is happening? You’re still not starting. You’re still not getting it done. 

Yes, this is real. Yes, this happens to many people. Instead of starting, diving in, getting the task even initiated, you’re doing other things. Maybe you’re doing smaller things, easier things. Maybe you’re not even doing anything at all, other than sitting in the reality of knowing you are not doing what you actually need to be doing. Paralyzing, isn’t it? 

I know this feeling is frustrating. And immediately, for many people, it turns straight to, “why am I like this!?”… I get it. I am here to share that what’s happening to you is not a new phenomenon. It’s not a reflection of who you are. It’s a sign of how you need support and help to get going.

Difficulty doesn’t always look like avoidance in a completely obvious sense. Difficulty can often look like re-writing your to-do list instead of actually beginning it, waiting for the “right” time, mood or energy to take over in your body, doing five other tasks before doing the one that truly matters, thinking about the task all day… but still not touching it, and often feeling a sense of pressure surrounding it all that makes it even harder to begin. From the outside it can look like procrastination, but from the inside it often feels very different. Task initiation is an executive functioning skill, not a moral virtue.

So how do you make yourself start? How do you force yourself to begin when you know you need to but cannot seem to? Let’s remind ourselves that starting a task isn’t just about knowing what to do. Starting a task requires your brain to organize where to begin, manage the pressure tied to the task, push through any discomfort, uncertainty, or perfectionism, and shift from thinking to doing. That’s actually a lot of steps for something that’s supposed to feel “simple”, isn’t it? I think so. For many people– especially those dealing with executive functioning challenges– the barrier isn’t laziness. It’s friction. And the more pressure you place on yourself just to start a task, well the heavier that friction can feel. 

What actually helps to serve as a jumpstart to feeling frozen, paralyzed, or the heavy weight of starting are tangible micro steps forward. Instead of trying to force an overwhelming momentum of change and beginning, it can help to make the starting points smaller, realistic and much more clear. Try defining the first step in a way that almost feels *too* easy – you don’t have to start the project, just open the document. Give yourself a limited entry point – “I’ll work on this for fifteen minutes…” instead of “I need to finish this as soon as possible.” Reduce decision-making in advance – set up everything you might need before you even begin. And perhaps a most important micro step to remember: let go of the idea that you need to feel ready. Starting often creates momentum, not the other way around. Let yourself find the energy as you begin and you’ll be surprised where it often takes you… like to the end of a task! 

If starting an assignment, project, task or list is something that you struggle with, it’s not a reflection of your work ethic or even abilities. It’s often a sign that your brain needs a different kind of support when it comes to getting started. And once you understand that, you can begin to approach it in a way that works with you, not against you.